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While on holiday recently I read ‘Nei Kung - The Secret Teachings of the Warrior Sages’ by Kosta Danaos. As a a 4th Dan blackbelt myself in the ancient Japanese martial art of Bujinkan (or more popularly known as Ninjutsu) I harbour an interest in the martial arts as a path for both physical and spiritual development.

This well-written book had less to do with fighting skills and more to do with a serious understanding of the science of Yin and Yang - the eternal opposing and complimentary energies of the universe and of spirit.

In the book Danaos makes mention that his master taught him the importance of not standing out in the crowd, of being a man that is invisible (in a sense) to others. My own interpretation was that he worked to become an ‘unremarkable man’ - a person who can move anywhere and blend in anywhere - someone who does not draw attention to themselves.

The phrase ‘an unremarkable man’ stayed with me however and helped me with what (for me) became a profound insight.

I came to realise that most of what I had striven to achieve in my life to this point was for the purpose of satsifying my own ego. All the pressure that I had put myself under, the striving, the work, the timetables, the targets, the deadlines - even many of the dreams I harboured - existed only for the satisfaction of my personal ego and pride - and I had not even realised it.

I had always understood the admonishment of ‘be humble’ to mean somehow ‘less’ or to put yourself in a space where others could walk over you or take advantage of you and that you had to ’suck it in’ and take it for the benefit of spiritual growth. Needless to say - I didn’t ‘do’ humility.

But, for me, I realise now that being humble is not about that. It’s about letting go of your ‘ego’. Realising that it is through the desire to fulfil our egotistic desires that we are controlled in this world. It’s the ego that is targetted when we are told to be beautiful, rich and ‘have it all’. But how can we possibly be happy with ‘having it all’ - most people who should be happy - who have it all - are not. The marketeeers just change the shape and the model or the definition of fashion and you’re constantly back in the game playing catch up.

As I looked at business magazines and newspapers it suddently really hit me at how much of the world and the fate of its people, is based on the ego of little people being constantly fed with a diet of acclamation or fascination.

But losing the ego rids you of all that. It’s like a weight comes off your shoulders. Resolving to be a person who does what you do as well as you can but for the service and satisfaction of yourself and the people that you choose to be of service to and not the recognition, acclamation or desire of others, changes things. It gives you an inner sense of power and rids you of the compulsion that exists in society ‘to have more, be more, do more’. It has started to change me. It allows you to create a personal world free of outside competition and pressure. You come to self-acceptance.

I can’t show you how to lose the ego that we have all nurtured and shaped for our lifetimes. It may be a personal journey and an insight that will come now that you can start to see things with new eyes.

For me it has come in a simple phrase - for me to be all that I can be to walk the path of ‘perfecting’ but as far as others are concerned, from this point on, I am happy to be ‘an unremarkable man’.